NCJ Number
190745
Date Published
2001
Length
10 pages
Annotation
This article describes the author’s experience of being raised by a father who used extreme physical abuse in the name of discipline and explores the idea of men raising boys to be men as a potential site for abuse in the rearing of men and then creating abusive men.
Abstract
The author’s father described abusive acts and performed them in the name of discipline. The discipline process occurred almost every day and culminated in a physical confrontation. The author’s father screamed words about discipline, respect, and the biblical injunction to honor the father and mother and at the same time pinched and hit his son. The mother, relatives, and neighbors did not really object to the abusive behaviors. The belt as both object and metaphor for teaching limits and respect, for building character, and for signaling that something was going to happen was another abusive tactic used by the author’s father, their neighbors, and many people the author has encountered as a psychotherapist and citizen. The men in the neighborhood believed that physically disciplining their children helped build character. However, the son became abusive in return and physically attacked his father at age 13. In addition, the author did not learn various ways of dealing with anger, how to express his feelings, how to complain, how to respond, how to become angry appropriately, or how to respect other people’s boundaries. Other negative impacts on the author and other young men who were abusively disciplined by one or both parents included tightening up, shutting down feelings, ineffective ways of managing anger, anxiety, and believing that strength lies in withholding. The analysis concludes that discipline in raising male children can create an abusive cycle and have profoundly negative impacts on people’s lives.